


Left Brain, Right Brain, Sad Brain, Fight Brain

by Mom_Friend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depression, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Klance if you squint, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Friend/pseuds/Mom_Friend
Summary: Team Voltron frees another planet that was developing technology that projects the user's logical and emotional functions. (Like Bo Burnham's Left Brain Right Brain) Lance offers to be a test subject and the rest of the team come to watch. Oof ensues.--Prompt and a lot of encouragement came from GrapieBee so this is a gift for them!!





	Left Brain, Right Brain, Sad Brain, Fight Brain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GrapieBee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapieBee/gifts).



> This takes place before the end of S2 but some time in there? so we still have Real Shiro™ and they have found 0 family. Keith is known to be galra and Allura has stopped being The Actual Worst about it.

   Once again, Team Voltron had won. It had been hard, and long, but they’d won. “Hell yeah another win for us!” Lance cheered over the coms. ‘That was stupid, they think you’re stupid, and you are.’ A small voice needled in Lance’s brain. The others whooped in an adrenaline-induced fervor as they landed their lions around the castleship and stepped out onto the foreign planet. 

   Similar to the Olkari these aliens, the Phearo, were very tech-oriented. However, the tech they were developing was significantly less leafy. According to Allura, it was amazing technology that would grant the Alliance a significant upper hand in gathering galra information. The specifics were pretty blurry but it was enough to get the entire team excited. Everyone gathered together before they were taken by an alien to lead them to the Government building to discuss the alliance. 

   The people of planet Phearia were best described as land octopi with obelisk like legs and a very jello-y midsection. “Incredible! Their multiple arms allow them to be far more efficient and the pliancy of their limbs makes it easier to get into small spaces!” Pidge’s excited muttering was easy to pick up. They passed by several rooms, all save one were locked with what looked like patient names on the fronts of the doors. The last one had a window that they used to look in. The room was illuminated in soft purple and fuschia glows that seemed to be originating from the ceiling. There was something that looked like a couch and several chair-like contraption, but other than that the deep grey room was empty.

   From Lance’s other side, Hunk excitedly whispered, “I’ll bet that’s the thing!”

   “I wonder how it works, I’ll bet it’s super cool!” Pidge looked up at Hunk with stars in her eyes.

   “You think they’d let us check it out?” Hunk could barely contain his voice to a whisper. From the front where the princess had been discussing the local fauna with one of the government officials, she gave a rather stern cough. Hunk and Pidge both shrunk a bit but none of their enthusiasm had left their faces. Lance laughed a bit and threw a look back to the room. ‘I wonder what it is exactly. Whatever it is I’m sure it’ll be super neat and useful to us!’ Lance smiled a bit before an equally sure voice chimed in, ‘Unlike you.’ The small smile not a second after it had arrived and Lance went back to watching the world around him. Keith and Shiro were discussing possible ways to combine the recently unlocked upgrades each of the lions had gotten and Coran was enthusiastically inquiring about the supposedly legendary animal that was native to Phearia.

   In the conference room, the team finally met with the Chieftain, Chief Wraz, and introduced themselves. As usual, the aliens eagerly accepted the offer to join the alliance and soon they had not only worked out the details but had also planned a celebration in several quintants, giving the team time to explore the planet of their newest ally. Just as they were finishing up the arrangements two Phearo dressed in sterile jackets that were assumed to be lab coats came in to the room and started whispering something to Chief Wraz to which he nodded intently before noticing his guest’s curious stares. “Ah yes! Well, seeing as you are both fighting the galra and saving people all over the universe, I am of most certainty that this technology will benefit you! I believe I gave you a vague idea of it when we first spoke, princess?”

   “Yes, and several of us, myself included, have been very interested in what exactly this mystery technology is.” Ever the diplomat, Allura’s answer rolled smoothly off her tongue.

   “I’ll allow my lead scientists to explain.” The two in question nodded nervously before one cleared their throat.

   “Well, you see,” the left one warbled, “we have been developing a machine that projects the user’s logical and emotional processes as holographic forms of the user. This is so if gesturing and/or nonverbal communication is needed. We’ve tested on many of our people and we’re proud to say that it’s pretty much complete! Unfortunately, we have yet to try it on anyone outside of our race so until we have done that we cannot truly say it is finished.”

   “If it’ll help you guys out I could give it a whirl!” Lance spoke up before anyone else could say anything. ‘This seems neat, and I can help people out for a change! Score!’

   “Blue Paladin! We- I- that would be wonderful! We humbly accept your offer!” The two Phearo turned to a pleasant, warm orange. ‘Pathetic. You’re just a guinea pig. Hopefully this kills you, then you won’t be burdening the team anymore. Double score.’ Lance shook his head as Pidge and Hunk shared a look and nodded at each other.

   “Do you think we could join and check out the tech? It’s amazing what you’ve done!” Hunk took a step forward and asked.

   “Yes, I too would like to see this extraordinary technology, if I may.” The princess joined in.

   “Count me in as well!” Called Coran, who was twirling his mustache with an excited fervor.

   “Why of course! You of all people should be witness to it if you are to understand and use this on future missions!” The secondary Phearo’s warm orange had deepened to a tangerine.

   “In that case, why not make it a team activity! Keith, you come too.” Shiro added over his shoulder as the group made their way to the door. Keith just shrugged in response.

   On the way to the test room, the first scientist was explaining more about the “Splieophorbe” as it was called. “We first had the idea for this technology as a method of working through mental trauma. But we realized after we could also use it to get enemies to share intelligence easily!” Allura and Shiro’s eyes lit up with the revelation while Pidge and Hunk shared excited looks with each other. Even Keith looked visibly impressed. 

   Upon closer inspection the walls were textured with soft protrusions and dips, similar to a sound blocking sheet one would find in recording booths back on Earth. The scientists had Lance sit in the middle of the couch-looking thing which was surprisingly plush, like someone had mixed cashmere with stuffing. The others sat in the other chairs facing towards him. The source of the soft light that was now illuminating on all of them was in fact the machine. It was built into the ceiling and looked seamless until the scientists pushed some buttons on a panel located next to the door at which point several cords descended. Keith looked a bit nervously at Lance as the Phearo scientists began hooking Lance up to the machine. He nudged Shiro and whispered something to him, prompting Shiro to speak up, “Are you sure that this is safe? Lance isn’t in any danger is he?”

   “Oh no, I assure you, this is completely safe! The most the Blue Paladin could experience would be heightened emotions.” Tension that no one had realized was there released itself from the bystander’s limbs. ‘They don’t want to have to take care of a pathetic good-for-nothing like you. You should consider yourself lucky they’re even willing to do that much for you.’ Lance winced, to which the the Phearo fretted and apologized over until he had assured them he was fine.

   Eventually Lance was all hooked up and they initialized the program. Suddenly, the fuschia and purple focused, and sitting on either side of Lance were holograms of him. The purple hologram to his left sat with an alert but expressionless face while the fuschia one to his right was jostling his knee and looking around the room with a jubilant smile on his face.

   Lance for one was feeling weird, but it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. For the first time since he was twelve, that  _ voice _ wasn’t nagging him! But he was having trouble really enjoying it, with both his logical and emotional sides out and separate, he couldn’t think. The most Lance could do was keep his regular functions going, blinking, breathing, the works.

   “Alrighty then, we’ll start off with some basic questions. Left, right, who are these people?” The purple boy surveyed the group with impassive eyes and shrugged before pointing to the person furthest left.

   “Wise and medically educated teammate, Princess and diplomatic teammate, parental figure and leading teammate, second-in-command and natural born warrior teammate, chef and engineer teammate, and genius technology-oriented teammate.”

   The team all started in different ways, hearing how great even the logical side of Lance agreed they were.

   “Okay, Right, same question.” The boy who had been vibrating in his seat waiting for his turn jumped up at the indication that it was his turn.

   “Oh boy!! Ok, that’s Coran, the most awesome space uncle ever! He always tells me tales and he reminds me of my Uncle Cortez! Allura is so awesome too! She’s not only a  _ princess _ but also a diplomat and just gorgeous!! She reminds me of my older sister Veronica! Oh geez and that’s Shiro, my childhood hero and dad friend!!! He’s so cool and is an amazing leader I’m so lucky I know him!! Oh and there’s hot ass keith-y boy!! Fiery, perfect, knife nugget who could actually fucking step on me oh my god. And Hunk!!!!! My best friend!!!! Chef extraordinaire and brilliant with mechanics.” Right Lance puts a hand up to his mouth like he was trying to whisper, “He gives the  _ best _ hugs. Literally just a hunk of angel! Finally, Pidge! Last but never least, tiny, brilliant genius!! It’s only thanks to her amazing tech we’re even still alive! Thank you for that, I love you!! In fact,” He spread his arms wide so as to encompass the entire team. “I love all of you! So! Much!!” The boy finishes with a squeal. The team was flabbergasted. To think that Lance thought so highly of all of them. Keith was definitely blushing at the hologram’s choice in words while Hunk looked like he was trying to rationalize not hugging the electronic boy.

   “Well then, what is Voltron?” The scientist prompted.

   “A large, powerful, alien robot created from the formation of five lion robots.” Left stated pragmatically.

   “A kickass alien robot that defends the universe because it and four of it’s paladins are just that  _ awesome!! _ ” Was Right’s enthusiastic reply.

   The team shared a look, clearly intended to mean ‘what does he mean, four?’

   “Lance, how many paladins are there in Voltron?” Shiro piped up.

   “Five.”

   “Well, I mean, technically five…”

   The team shared another concerned look before the Phearo asked another question. “To get the last of the preliminary questions out of the way, who are you?”

   Amidst the haze, Lance collected just enough thought to understand now what he’d done was dangerous. His teammates could find out anything and everything and he couldn’t stop it. However, he could only muster a flash of horror over his face before Left spoke up.

   “I am the logical side of Lance, Blue Paladin of Voltron, Weakest Link of Voltron, and Replaceable Paladin.”

   Everyone’s jaws dropped.

   “Come  _ on _ , Left! We have more fun titles too! Like Useless Boy, Lazy Ass, Dumb Fuck, Stupid Good-For-Nothing Shit-For-Brains, Goof-Off Paladin, Worthless Son, Inept Soldier, Keith’s Shitty Replacement, Just a Boy from Cuba! To name a few. I’m the emotional side of Lance, the fuckup who burdened the people he loves most with his presence just because he’s too selfish to kill himself and let the real Blue Paladin take his place!” Right’s smile slowly dropped as he continued his tangent but his enthusiastic voice remained. It was the same voice the real Lance used when he was talking to them too. The team wondered how much of what Lance did was an act. Recognizing that the group was going to need some time alone, both Phearo slowly backed out of the room and bolted to run diagnostics in the meantime.

   For a little while everyone just sat in a dazed stupor. Pidge was the first to snap out. “Lance, holy shit!” Right flinched at her exclamation. “How long have you been thinking like this?”

   “Oh wow, well, for as long as he can remember, but it started getting real bad when we got up here in space! Didn’t have my meds, y’know?” Right chirped as though this were still a normal conversation.

   “Since the age of twelve. It’s been five years. On Earth he had Depression Medication to regulate our hormones and his family for extra support where Right needed them.”

   “Oh, thank God, at least it’s a hormonal thing, that we can fix. I thought that we’d done something to cause it. Still! Lance, please don’t keep things like that to yourself!” Hunk’s ramble fluctuated in intensity.

   The Lance in the center flinched. “Yes it is a hormonal thing, however it is a fact that Lance is useless on this team. Right is constantly fucking things up and I can’t make up for it with my meager presence. I have become attuned to these facts from extensive interaction with you all.” Left stared passed the team as he spoke. “Essentially, both Right and I were affirmed that everything we thought was correct.” Right finally seemed to drop the act, he looked tired and worn. A broken smile played on his lips as he surveyed his friends- his  _ family _ .

   “Who would like themselves when the person they love like their uncle thinks so little of them that he doesn’t value their concerns and fears? Who would like themselves when just  _ trying _ to greet someone they see as their older sister scoffs and brushes them off? How could he ever look himself in the mirror and not hate the reflection when his hero and role model thinks he’s just a goofy clown that is a threat to his  _ real _ favorite person?” As he said that, Right threw up a hand gesturing to Keith. He was sobbing now as he continued wetly, “And how could he ever smile a genuine smile knowing the guy he respected and  _ loved _ thought him nothing more than a stupid nuisance? Knowing that he was only ever going to be a shitty replacement for that guy at most? Who would still think they were worthy of speaking when the first thing their best friend did after he was released from a cryopod was to groan and inform them that their arrival-  _ the very fact that they survived _ \- had ruined what the team was doing.” Hunk whimpered and winced at that. “Why, pray tell, would he or I ever be truly happy when someone they recognize as a little sister constantly called him stupid and excluded him from things because ‘oh you just wouldn’t get it Lance.’ Like that made it hurt any less.”

   Right looked like he was going to continue when Left cut him off, “It’s your fault for giving them that impression of him in the first place. If you would just stop being so  _ needy _ and  _ pathetic _ all the time, maybe they’d actually want to be around him. If you’d stop being annoying for ONCE in your goddamn existence. Just shut up and been quiet and had let me handle it maybe everyone wouldn’t hate him.” The typically apathetic Left had begun to seethe.

   “I’m sorry, Right! I know I’m pathetic, why do you thing I hate myself so much? I know I’m awful and weak you tell me that every  _ fucking _ day how could I ever forget?” Right had jumped up from the couch up and was gesturing wildly. “You make me watch those clips of the teachers at the garrison and the aliens we’ve encountered and my family and even my  _ goddamn _ space family citing all the instances where I’ve fucked up like you’re a fucking lawyer presenting evidence to a case! Over and over and over and  _ over. _ The looks of disgust from the princess whenever I tried to complement her. Iverson yelling about how I only made it to fighter class because of Keith. Hunk and Pidge’s groans whenever I made a joke…” He was sinking to the floor now.

   “Well someone had to keep you in check, and since your teammates,” Left gestured across the room to Lance’s team who was looking shell-shocked and absolutely horrified at the exchange, “are too generous to spell it out for you. You’re the reason he’s like this. YOU did this to him. If you had left it up to me maybe he’d actually be fucking useful and not a waste of space. Like you are.”

   That final sentence bounced around the room, passing through their ears and continuing to ricochete around. Left let out a final snort of contempt before he glitched away, leaving Right a messy puddle on on the floor and Lance with more cognitive function. With his emotional side still out, Lance was comfortably numb. The harsh words were back, but he was apathetic to it all. ‘So what if they know how I feel about myself now. They feel the same way as I do.’ Right glitched away after a few more moments too. You could hear a pin drop in the room.

   With the assimilation of his emotional side back, the fear and self-loathing overwhelmed him. ‘Waste of space. You’re a waste of space.’ The team all at once shook themselves from their stupor, but not fast enough, Lance was already bolting from the room.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Uh, I hope you liked it??? I'm trying to get back into the writing game.


End file.
